This morning finds me less than 100%. Nonetheless, I am able to perform various tasks. In fact the more I do, the less I dwell on how half-assed I feel! So I will not bore you with the details, but carry on doing the deeds with gusto, until I can no longer stay awake. By which time the way I feel will be of zero importance. I might even feel better!
Last night, over a most enjoyable dinner, some of us fell to talking about plans to find somewhere else to live. Our outlooks and intended courses of action were quite varied, but our motivation and reasons for thinking this way were very similar.
At different times, two of us said, “I dont want to die in….”, followed by our current places of residences. I have lived in the same town on and off for many years. Its a town I know too(?) well, and don’t like living in very much. Several times I have been geared up to take my leave, and something has happened to postpone my departure. Still I remain convinced that the day will come.
I am not at all convinced that leaving will be the antidote to my dissatisfaction. Although there are a number of places I believe I would be happier in, I don’t know that I will ever find somewhere to settle. Perhaps I am doomed to wander back and forth until the time and place of my demise present themselves.
What seems clearer than ever this morning is that for all of us the location is not the problem. If we were living our lives to the best of our ability, doing only the things most important to us, then where we were wouldn’t concern us. I am loathe to admit it, but I remain up to my neck in procrastination.
So although I remain as determined as ever to move, in the mean time I pray for the resolve to change my life right where I am. I can do better, and that being the case, there is no excuse for not doing so.
When death comes to claim me, I pray my house is in order, and I am in the middle of doing things I believe to be good. Then where I am at that time really wont matter.
Maud is the name coined by my son for our recently purchased car. Maud is an automatic diesel Mercedes, and is a dream come true.
In these dire times it may seem both foolhardy and a little sick to covet and own such a thing. Like many people, despite serious reservations, I have accepted that for the moment I cannot do my thing without a car.
Throughout my life, I have owned old cars. Usually I am the final owner. That being the case, I have mostly had decent old cars. Why drive an old Ford when you can drive an old Volvo? An automatic diesel Mercedes has always seemed to me the very best car I could ever hope for. Now I have one!
So welcome, Maud, into our family. Your superior engineering and the very comfortable ride you provide are much appreciated. We shall do our best to maintain and care for you in the times to come. Long may you run.
Throughout my life, it is music that has been my number one preoccupation. However during some periods of my life, drink has run a close second. Since I was a teenager, I have had a long and turbulent relationship with the demon alcohol.
My family moved to Cambridge in 1967, the summer of love(!). At seventeen and fresh out of boarding school into a student town full of pubs, my drinking career took off without a hitch. For the next several years, despite passionate affairs with most of the available recreational drugs, drink remained the undisputed protagonist in my hedonistic heart.
I moved to London, then the streets of Paris, where hours of playing music every day began in earnest. Still a drink of some kind was never far away. Life’s essentials were reduced to a minimum as all surplus funds were offered up at the altar of Bacchus. Fortified with ‘Dutch courage’, I embarked on one adventure after another throughout my 20s. Having lived to tell the tale, I cannot honestly say I regret my alcoholic exuberance. Without the booze, I may never summoned up the nerve to do many of the things I did. Read more »
Recent events have seen an Icelandic volcano bring much of the world’s air traffic to a standstill. For six days the skies above Europe have been quiet. It has given us a glimpse of how the world might be if or when the planes stop flying altogether.
As the aviation industry lurches tentatively back into action, its future seems more than ever suspended between desire and reality. How much longer can we expect to zip around the world with such ease? Read more »
Last Tuesday morning, I damaged my knee. Cycling back from church, at some considerable speed, I went off the path, slipped on some mud and lost control.
I remember flying through the air, then the next thing I recall is yelling in pain. Almost immediately, a woman with her young daughter and small dog came to my assistance. They were so nice. I didn’t have the presence of mind to ask their names, but thank you whoever you are. How often it is that something bad happens and almost immediately something good happens too.
They helped me to my feet, and after assuring them several times that I was OK, I hobbled slowly home. I spent the rest of the day doing very little except putting off going to the hospital in the hope that I really was OK, but I wasn’t. Read more »
I remember when I first found myself attracted to creative people, how the best of them seemed unstoppable fountains of ideas. And I quickly realised that quality control was not part of the equation. That would impede the flow. I marvelled at how someone could come up with remarkable, inspiring trains of thought one minute, and blindly stupid, asinine rubbish the next.
As a callow youth, I was quick to make this judgement of the genii I encountered, but never for a moment considered that I did the same thing. I liked to think that I applied a filter to what occurred in my fevered brain, sparing anyone nearby from my direst imaginings. The brainwaves that I made public were good and pure, immaculate conceptions all. I-yi-yi…
Once again, music saved me. Once I started playing music for real, jamming for hours on end with friends, it slowly dawned on me that only by letting it all out could I begin to express myself. As a musician I am still learning to think, play and filter simultaneously. How else can I expect to keep it fresh? Read more »
I love our living room. It serves many purposes. Currently it is a guest bedroom, an internet cafe, a laundry room and a cinema. This is when it is happiest.
When no one is staying, sometimes days go by when no one even goes there except to pass through to the back yard. When I was a child, we lived for a short while in a lovely country cottage that had a parlour. We never went in there except when we had guests. Sad and wasteful.
The name living room says it all. Its a room for living to take place in. When I’m on my own, the kitchen mostly becomes my living room. Thats where the food delivery system is…there is a phone in there…washing machine…its the warmest place in the house. When I’m done in there, I either go out, or to my studio, or to bed.
I get no kick from sitting on my own in a comfy chair, watching TV or reading a book. I am too much reminded there is no one else around. So another reason I love my living room is that if I am in there it is because I have company.
This morning, in the early Saturday quiet, I saw a young father, carrying his very young child in a snuggly, wrapped inside his coat. Instantly I remembered how it felt carrying my own child in this way. From there my mind went to young people I know who have recently had babies, and in particular to dear friends who are expecting their first child in July.
How blessed we parents are! Over the years I have heard all kinds of reasons put forward for not having children….’the world is overcrowded’…..’we haven’t the money’…..’its downright irresponsible’….’I don’t think I’m ready’…’my work will suffer’….’its not for everyone’….and so on. If you are lucky enough to become a parent, in an instant, all these things become utterly meaningless.
I recall, in the flush of fresh parenthood, wanting to persuade everyone to make babies of their own. How insensitive and foolish this was. We are all blessed in different ways. Years ago, with the great Mumbo Gumbo, I recorded a song that light heartedly addressed this.
The saddest thing in our world is orphaned or unwanted children. If you have the means, please consider supporting SOS Children’s Villages, perhaps the most effective international organisation today caring worldwide for abandoned children. Johnny Cash, Angelina Jolie, and Nelson Mandela are just some of the distinguished believers in the SOS Children’s Villages mission.
My friend Neil gave me this orchid last October for my birthday. I’m woefully inadequate when it comes to plant care. I watered it and it soldiered on through November, but by Christmas it looked as if it had given all it had.
I put it in a slightly larger pot, and continued to water it. By the end of February I had little hope left that it would flourish again. However it never looked dead.
10 days ago, an undeniable bud manifested itself. Today it sports 2 flowers and a third bud is vigorously preparing to do its thing.
I have nothing profound to say about this. But it is deeply satisfying and reassuring. So much in nature shuts down during winter. In the depths of the cold weather it is difficult to remember how much is gone, and tough to imagine any of it returning or being replaced. But it does and it is.